My Lost Love

.. know that they will be there for you for the rest of your life. Well that wasn’t it. I was just happy that the cleaning was over, and we could go home. When we got to my car, I looked at her and asked her, ” Do you promise me you’ll never leave me?” She so softly answered with a twinkle in her eye and a smile on her face, ” Yes! I will never leave you.

I will be with you for the rest of your life. That is a promise!” We started home about 2:30 A.M. in the morning. We were driving on Highway 45 when we came across an intersection. Our light was green so I proceeded. Out of no where, a car with its high beams on hit the passenger side of my car.

I was sent to the hospital unconscious. I woke up the next morning. I called for the nurse. “Where is Kristeen?” I asked so impatiently. The nurse looked at me with saddened eyes. I could tell what the answer was just by the look in her eyes.

” I’m sorry. Your friend never made it. She was dead at the scene.” She said with a soft voice. I later found out that the car was driven by a drunk from the party that we had just left. I couldn’t help but cry as remembered the promise we made right before we left.

Then all the other memories started coming back. I couldn’t stop them. They just kept coming one after the other. The more I remembered the faster the tears ran out. I got up and started pacing around in my room.

The more I thought of her the angrier I became. I took my aggression out by punching the walls. The nurses came in trying to calm me. Nothing was going to calm me. I couldn’t stand it.

I finally quit punching the wall and fell to the floor. All I could do was sit there and cry as I remembered every single day of our relationship. It’s wasn’t fair. It should have been me. I should have died, not her.

Suicide did cross my mind that night in the hospital. It has been a month since that day, and everytime I look at her picture it hurts me so much I could die. Everyday I think about that night, and what I could have done to prevent her death. One thing is for sure, love has never hurt me this much before. That next day I went to her grave. “Umm… I wrote you this poem.

It’s about you and what I thought you were thinking when I was at the hospital. ” I said as the tears ran down my face. ” I can’t believe this happened. You weren’t ready to go. I wasn’t ready for you to…..” I had to stop because I started to choke up. ” I wasn’t ready for you to go.

No one was. Remember our promise? Well I won’t let you break it. You will always be with me. Right here.” I said as I hit my chest. ” I hope you can read this from your spot in Heaven.” I said with my tear filled eyes as I was setting the poem on her grave.

This is what the poem said, “Death Of An Innocent I went to a party Dominiq, I remembered what you said. You told me not to drink, so I drank soda instead. I really felt proud inside, the way you said I would. I didn’t drink and drive, even though the others said I should. I know I did the right thing, I know you were always right.

Now the party is finally ending, as everyone is driving out of sight. As I got into the car, I knew I’d get home in one piece. Because of the way you loved me, so caring and sweet. We started to drive away, but as you pulled out into the road, the other car didn’t see us and hit me like a load. As I lay there on the pavement, I hear the policeman say, the other guy is drunk, and now I’m the one who will pay. I’m lying here dying, I hope you get there soon. How could this happen to me? My life just burst like a balloon.

There is blood all around me, and most of it is mine. I hear the medic say, I’m running out of time. I just wanted to tell you, I swear I didn’t drink. It was the others. The others didn’t think.

He was probably at the same party as I. The only difference is he drank and I will die. Why do people drink? It can ruin your whole life. I’m feeling sharp pains now. Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, and I don’t think it’s fair. I’m lying here dying and all he can do is stare. Tell my sister not to cry. Tell Dad to be brave. And when I go to heaven, put “Daddy’s Girl” on my grave.

Someone should have told him, not to drink and drive. If only they had told him, I would still be alive. My breath is getting shorter. I’m becoming very scared. Please don’t cry for me.

When I needed you, you were always there. I have one last question, before I say good bye. I didn’t drink and drive, so why am I the one to die?” ” I know I have to get on with my life, but I will always love and cherish you. Our love will always be like the stars eternal shine.” I said as I wiped the tears from my face. ” One more thing before I go, I love you! Remember that!” I looked at her grave imagining her face.

I stood there for a couple of minutes not saying a word. Then I turned and began to walk to my car. When I got into the car, I sat there, remembering, one at a time, all the things we did together. The final thing I saw was the twinkle in her eye and the smile on her face when she promised me that she would never leave me. Then I drove home knowing, I would never get to kiss her sweet, gentle lips good night ever again.